THE COUNTESS ALEX ZAPAK – PROFESSIONAL TIMELINE
Life as a fairytale punk opera, told in chapters instead of chaos.
I. ORIGINS – “POET IN EVERY MEDIUM”
Early years – cinema as religion
Long-sighted, half-blind without glasses, childhood spent glued to classic films (Visconti, Fellini, Huston, DW Griffith). Life starts to look like a movie reel; she begins to see “cinematic moments in the everyday” – a habit that never leaves.
Storyteller by default, not design
Even as a child, she narrates her own life as if a director is living in her skull. That internal cinema becomes the basis of everything: songs, images, films, installations, and now couture.
II. 1997 – THE FIRST DETONATION: MY FIRST SUICIDE
Debut album: My First Suicide
Self-written, self-produced, self-financed, recorded with whoever she could afford and whoever she could drag into the room.
Critical acclaim
Hailed as “edgy, raw and enticing” (Rolling Stone) and “unique, brilliant… thrills as much as it chills” (Melody Maker). Named “best newcomer” by Rolling Stone in parts of Europe.
Executive-produced by Arthur Baker
The man behind Afrika Bambaataa’s “Planet Rock” backs her first record, adding heavyweight underground credibility.
Frankenstein band of misfits
Features everyone from Tim Da Bass (Goldie) and Matthew Ashman (Adam and the Ants / Bow Wow Wow), to Jon Klein (Siouxsie & the Banshees, Specimen), plus a homeless guitarist she recorded live on Clapham Underground.
Funding method: tragic burlesque
To pay for it all, she performs as a deliberately “tragically bad” burlesque dancer in New York clubs. The humiliation becomes fuel for the work.
III. 2003 – HOUSEWIVES ARE THE NEW ROCK STARS
UK Designer Magazine “Woman of the Year”
Wins the award ahead of P!nk and Kate Moss. That’s not niche; that’s a signal.
Birth of The Countess & the C.U.N.T. Rock Revolution (CRR)
C.U.N.T. = Can’t Understand Normal Thinking.
She casts her first London band out of chance encounters – including people she meets in a kebab shop on Edgware Road – based on “random synchronicity,” the founding principle of CRR.
Concept: feminist situationist punk opera
Early shows fuse songs, satire, religion, porn tropes, housewife imagery and Barbie culture into a loud, feral, feminist howl.
Slogan: “Housewives are the new rock stars.”
Manchester debut – In The City (2003)
CRR’s debut at the In The City festival garners lavish critical praise and marks the start of The Countess as a cult figure.
IV. 2004–2010 – NEW YORK CITY: QUEEN OF THE UNDERGROUND
Big move to NYC
Following blues legend Johnny Johnson’s advice to “paint herself on the big canvas of the Big Apple,” she divorces, leaves the UK, and lands in New York with a small bag and huge intent.
The Pink Pony residency, Ludlow Street
Quickly secures a packed residency. Social diarist Patrick McMullan dubs her “Queen of the Underground” and “Downtown Queen”.
The Countess & CRR evolve into a full-blown art band
Line-ups over time include: Brian Jackson, Knox Chandler, Stanley Banks, Burlesque star Miss Amelia, Child drummer Ivy Lively.
High-profile cult following
Regulars: Christo & Jeanne-Claude, Rachel Weisz, Matt Dillon, Ethan Hawke, Karolina Kurkova, Karen Elson, TV on the Radio, Interpol, Kenny Kenny, Nicole Wittenberg, Peter Beard, Clayton Patterson.
A show every week, a new persona every time
She appears as an “infinite Barbie” – constantly changing: The Future Is Stupid, Plastic Spastic Love, Cun$t Schön!, I Am Fejus – The Female Jesus, Mad Molecule Doll.
Simultaneous success & collapse
Headlining sold-out shows at The Knitting Factory while literally homeless, burnt out and living off adrenalin, friends and miracles.
The aesthetics get copied – loudly
Her CRR looks and ideas start appearing in major fashion editorials, ad campaigns, and pop star visuals. Penny Arcade publicly calls The Countess the key uncredited influence behind certain megastar’s early aesthetics.
V. BERLIN INTERLUDE – CUN$T & THE VISUAL TURN
Move to Berlin, broke but dangerous
Exhausted by NYC, she relocates to Berlin and rebrands C.U.N.T. as CUN$T – the old German word for art, plus a visual gag about being skint.
Meets filmmaker Michel Auder
Former husband of Cindy Sherman, he recognises The Countess as a live-action, musical version of Sherman’s work. That blessing helps push her fully into trans-media.
Birth of the visual artist
Armed with a basic computer, falling tragically in love and falling apart emotionally, she starts documenting her own love addiction in photos, films and emails. This becomes the project “I Fancy Bastards”.
Sur-Reality Punk defined
She describes herself as a sur-reality punk artist – documenting her own life, characters and heartbreaks as if they were scenes from an already-written film.
VI. 2009–2013 – FAIRYTAIL PUNK: THE GIRL WITH THE HORSE IN HER HAIR
The vision and the horse
Living in Berlin, the phrase Fairytail Punk pops into her head. She imagines a series of mythic images, rents a white horse on Long Island, and rides it in full styling with her original NYC bandmates.
Writes the surrealist autobiography
In a fever, she writes "The Girl With the Horse in Her Hair" in three parts.
New York Fairytail Punk debut at Collective Hardware
A sold-out live performance art show: She arrives on a rocking horse carried by her "band of dreams". Set is a recreation of her tiny studio.
Art-world endorsement
Dennis Oppenheim’s verdict: “She’s simply a visionary – please quote me on that.”
Deportation and forced return to London
After performing in LA, she is detained, jailed for 75 hours and deported with a 5-year ban from US soil. The shock becomes raw material for the next chapter.
VII. 2011–2014 – LONDON, ART PRIZES & NEW MYTHS
Art Below winner (2011)
Her image “Be Surreal” wins the national Art Below competition.
Recreating CRR in London (Purple Turtle, Camden – 2012)
Restages CRR with Kevin Armstrong (David Bowie), Matt Hector & Ben Ellis. Street-cast Sirens. Fly posters are stolen en masse – DIY virality.
Riley Award (2013) & J Foundation Art Award (NYC)
Recognised for her work in visual and performance art.
Fairytail Punk – London debut (2013)
Artist Harland Miller calls it: “Sheer mad f**ing brilliance.”
IGGYFEST, ICA London (2013)
Performs songs from Iggy Pop’s Blah Blah Blah at the ICA, backed by Iggy’s band.
VIII. 2015–2017 – NU(I)T & TRANSMEDIA MASTERY
La Neo Noir Best Monologue (2015)
Wins for a piece from her ongoing work.
NU(I)T – One-woman “punk Fellini” opera (Brighton Fringe 2017)
Debuts NU(I)T. Live cinema, music, monologue, poetry and costumes all conceived by her. Director Nic Roeg calls it "Astonishing."
Acker Award (2017)
Wins the coveted New York Acker Award for transgressive, independent art.
IX. COLLABORATIONS & CONTINUING PROJECTS
• Collaboration with Not Man Apart / John Farmanesh-Bocca.
• Queens of the Universe Rise (in development): Documentary charting her street-cast Sirens.
• Ongoing role: trans-media storyteller across all disciplines.
X. NOW – SIRENS: COUTURE AS PERFORMANCE
From stage costume to signature garment
Designs the Sirens jumpsuit: a faux leather, body-responsive, performance-ready, cinematic second skin.
Sirens as live brand experience
Each drop is a limited-edition couture run, a live show, a fitting session, and a portrait shoot.
Sur-Reality Punk, now wearable
Decriminalising female power, rejecting mass-production fakery, and turning real people into living, breathing cinematic icons.
THE COUNTESS IN A FEW COLD, HARD FACTS
For investors & press
Collaborators & Supporters:
Brian Jackson, Knox Chandler, Stanley Banks, Kevin Armstrong, Peter Beard, Clayton Patterson, Michel Auder, Nicole Wittenberg, Antoine Periche, Kenny Kenny, Brian Ermanski, Patrick McMullan.
Performed at:
The Knitting Factory (NYC), ICA London, Iconic downtown clubs in NYC, London, Berlin.
Disciplines:
Performance art, Punk theatre, Couture design, Styling, Photography, Songwriting, Mythic storytelling.
Signature Themes:
Feminist reclamation, Sur-reality, Barbie deconstruction, Punk glamour, Mythic cinema, Emotional extremity, Reinvention, DIY iconography.
"Simply a visionary"
